March 22, 2012. The day our lives changed forever.
We woke up WAY earlier than I had gotten up in a long time. I think the alarm went off at 6am. I had shaved the night before (a necessity). We had all the bags packed and by the door. I straightened my hair, did my make-up. I couldn't eat because I was so anxious and nervous. Daddy wasn't feeling good, but he shook it off for the big day! We were supposed to get to the hospital at 7:30am. I think we got there at 7:40am, not too bad. All the big rooms were taken, unfortunately, so we got put in one of the "regular" rooms. My nurse came in and did all the admitting stuff...started an IV, started fluids, hooked me up to the monitors, did the paperwork...then she checked me. I was 4cm dilated and 80% effaced. FOUR! Who walks into the hospital four cm dilated and isn't in labor?! Yep, me. You were a stubborn boy and just didn't want to come out! My nurse was awesome, the doctor came by and saw me, and we started pitocin. Once all of that was done, both grandma's, grandpa and uncle grant came up to join us. They followed the rules and didn't come until I said so :).
Heading to the hospital
Last belly shot!
Getting hooked up!
Smiling in the early stages...
Grandma Cathy
Our room numberThe contractions I could feel, but nothing crazy. It was completely tolerable. Did I mention how awesome my nurse was?! She got along great with my family, supported me and was just AWESOME! I would love for her to deliver all of your siblings too. Maybe I can arrange that...she has a time share in Hawaii, which she showed us pictures of. She also knew a ton of card tricks! So around noon, she showed us a few. She told me she would check me again in 30 minutes and then we would get my epidural. SWEET!
Showing us card tricksWell, we didn't make it to the 30 minutes later because shortly after the doctor came in. I was still the same as before and she decided to break my water. Talk about IMMEDIATE pain. It was like night and day. I was laughing, joking, texting and having a good time before and now that she broke my water I was in agony! Dr Hilliard wanted to see a card trick so the nurse decided to do one more. UH HELLO! I am in pain here! Of course she picked me to pick the card. I couldn't even begin to tell you what the card trick was, but I think the card was a 9 of diamonds. Actually, I am almost positive that was it. She finished the card trick and the the nausea kicked in. Everyone left the room and she called the anesthesiologist to come and start my epidural. All of this happened around 12:30pm. After what seemed like HOURS, the anesthesiologist finally appeared. The nurse had me all set-up and ready to go. He explained to me what he was going to do, but I didn't care. I just wanted the pain to stop! He decided to poke me with the needle and Lidocaine RIGHT in the middle of a contraction. I jumped, a few times. That Lidocaine burned! I started crying because I had pain in my back and pain in the front. Daddy just held my hand and wiped my tears away. You could tell he felt helpless. The doctor told me I should start to feel relief pretty quickly, like 15 minutes. Well that time came and went, no relief. I could move both of my legs completely. He gave me a little more medicine and said a few more minutes. Still not getting better. After about 45 minutes, I finally felt relief and boy was it good! I could still feel my contractions slightly, but not nearly as bad. I was so thankful when that epidural kicked in. The nurse was concerned with how much pain I was in, so she checked me again at about 1:30pm. I was still 4cm but completely effaced. In an hour, I had thinned completely out.
I decided to try and sleep, which was unsuccessful. That is one thing I wish I would have done, get a little sleep. It wasn't long after that that my epidural started to wear off and that terrible pain was back! What in the world?! They had to call the anesthesiologist to come give me more meds because the pain was back and with a vengeance! I was so nauseous too. I just remember I kept saying I wanted to throw up but couldn't.
At 3:30pm the nurse checked me again. I was 8cm now. She said she would check me in another hour and see where we were! She told me I needed to have you before she went home, which was 7pm. I didn't want to have to change nurses, so I told her that was my plan!
Time seemed to go by fast. Between the pain, nausea and visitors, things are sort of a blur. The nurse came in at 4:30pm and checked me. I was 10cm and ready to start pushing! We were very excited to meet you.
See that clock? I started pushing at 5pm. That clock, it haunted me the entire time I pushed! For three long hours I tried to get you out. Three very long hours. And that clock laughed in my face!
No more smiles for me! Pushing was hard work and to be honest I sucked at it! I couldn't get you to come down, I pushed and felt like I wasn't making any progress at all. The clock ticked away and still you weren't here! At some point, Auntie B walked in with Auntie Shaila. Surprise! But Mommy was SO exhausted and hurting that I couldn't truly be as excited as I wanted to be. I can never thank your Auntie Shaila enough for getting Auntie B here. I hope she knows how thankful I am.
Daddy was a great coach! He never left my side. I didn't give him an ounce of training, but he knew exactly what to do. He was my strength when I needed it! Both grandma's were there too. Everyone kept telling me to push more, push harder, push push push! I felt like I couldn't do anymore! I still felt like I was going to throw up and I was exhausted. They gave me something for nausea, phenergan. Well it knocked me out! I was so sleepy I could barely keep my eyes open. I just wanted a nap! At this point, it is after 7pm and my nurse was supposed to go home. She agreed to stay over, just to help bring you into this world. I am so thankful to her. I couldn't have done it without her!
The nurse called Dr. Hilliard around 7ish. She appeared at 7:30pm. I pushed a few times with her and then she walked out of the room. The nurse came back in and said they were going to do a vacuum delivery. I had three chances to get you out, three. If I didn't get you out in three, I was going to have to have emergency c section. I told my nurse I couldn't do it. I was so exhausted and just to take you out. She told me I COULD do it and WOULD do it. I needed to hear those words. Around 7:45pm they set up for your delivery. I can't accurately put into words how I was feeling except that once I started to try and push you out, the room went silent. I heard nothing. I knew I had to get you out. Three chances. That's what I kept telling myself. Three chances is all I've got. The first contraction came. With each one, I pushed three times. You still weren't out. The second contraction came. On the first push, the vacuum popped off. The second one, still no go. And the third one the vacuum popped off again. I was exhausted. I didn't have any strength left in me, but I knew I had one more chance. One more contraction to get you out. So I gave it everything I had. I heard nothing. I don't remember what anyone said. All I heard was my own voice saying this was the last chance. This was it. So I pushed with everything left in me. The first push came and you still weren't out. I heard Daddy say you were close. I am not sure if it is the second or the third push, but I felt this pressure and when I looked down, your head was out! I had done it! I knew all that was left was to push your body out. I looked at the doctor and heard her say, "lower the bed" and she began to push on my stomach. Your little shoulders were stuck! She told me to push and I knew how serious your shoulders being stuck meant, so I pushed...and then, you were out. After three hours of pushing, at 8:03pm, you were born.
Cash Richard Estrada
8 lbs 5 oz
21 inches long
Born at 8:03pm
You came out looking exactly like your daddy and with a pair of lung like your mommy. I cried, your daddy cried, everyone cried! The first words out of your daddy's mouth were "he's not ugly!" That's right, thats the first thing he said! You were beautiful. I wish I could tell you I had this amazing emotional connection with you, that your daddy and I shared this amazing moment, but we didn't. I am sad about that. I was so delirious and exhausted and still in pain that everything just mushed together. I looked down at the doctor and she asked me if your daddy had really just said that. We both laughed as I said "yes, yes he did". Daddy loved you instantly. He just stared at you. It was incredible to watch.
The first time they placed you in my arms, I couldn't believe it. You. were. mine. We had created you! God had blessed us with such a gift. I was delirious, exhausted, but you were worth every second. Every pain, every nauseous moment, every ache. You were worth it. And I loved you, instantly. Your daddy and I had become parents. And you were such a beautiful little boy.
You cried the entire time after you were born until I got you to latch. Guess you were hungry! You latched like a champ. Everyone in the waiting room were so anxious to meet you, but I made them wait until I fed you! Daddy was so hands on and helpful from the start. I loved his help.
So many people were there to meet you the night you were born. I am going to try and list them...
Grandpa
Grandma Cathy
Grandma Vicki
Grandma Betty
Aunt Stacy
Auntie B
Auntie Shaila
Uncle Brett
Uncle Grant
Hayley
Clare
Shelly
Aaron
Gunner
Alyssa
I think I got them all.
Alyssa was very excited to meet you. She wrote you the sweetest letter. I have it saved for you to read someday
The first night they asked if I wanted you to go to the nursery so I could sleep, but you were so quiet and peaceful! I didn't want you to leave. So you slept in the room with us.
With your monkey from Great Great Grandma Minnie
The next day in the hospital I woke up early and fed you, well you woke me up early, and then I showered. It felt good to shower! Then I got you dressed.
We had a ton of visitors on your first day of life.
Kayla Herick
Carly and her mom
Reina
Dorie
Grandma and Grandpa
Uncle Grant
Uncle Drew
Uncle Brett
Uncle Ivan
Grandma
Uncle Jordan
Auntie Shaila
Auntie B
It was exhausting, but nice to have everyone come! That night I got you dressed in your jammies and I was hoping for a similar night like the one before, but that didn't happen.
I didn't get to sleep until after 1am and then you were up shortly after to eat. The nurse came in at 2:30am and if I wanted her to take you for a little bit so I could sleep. I agreed. So from 2:30am-4:30am I got some sleep. After that, I got none. They had me feed you like every 20 minutes! My nipples were so sore and hurting. It was miserable. I was exhausted. I was so ready to go home. It was a pretty rough night.
We got discharged that day. I couldn't wait to get home, but was so nervous to have you home! We got you all ready in your little going home outfit and mommy realized she forgot a blanket for you! Oops! It was cold that day too.
And we were on our way! Grandma and Auntie B followed us home (they brought donuts for the nurses for me) and helped us when we got home.
I gave you a sponge bath and put you in some clean jammies!
I took a shower and Daddy cleaned up the house, then he took a shower. We both tried to nap, but with no success. Grandma Cathy brought food over and Grandma Vicki and Auntie B helped us at home. It was a whirlwind of a day and I was so tired and in pain. Before I knew it, everyone was gone and it was time for bed!
I know it seems like something out of a story book, but that is the true story of how you were born and your first few days of life. We were tired, but in love.
I wanted to document it. Document the day. Maybe for me to remember all the details to share with you. Maybe to keep me sane and remind me I can do it when it comes time for you to have a sibling. Maybe I just wanted to relive the day. I am not really sure of the exact reason, but I do know this: typing this up made me cry. I am currently holding you while you sleep. You are almost three weeks old and I can't believe this all happened just a short three weeks ago. Time is flying Cash. You are getting bigger every day, changing every day. And every day I love you more than the day before.
Your daddy and I love you more than you will ever understand, or at least until you have kids of your own. The love a parent has for their child is not something anyone can ever explain. I just pray that God gives your daddy and I the guidance to help raise you and be the very best parents we can be.
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